She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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