Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
