is your mom at the bar?
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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