maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
