how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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