I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
