I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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