will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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