When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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