why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
