Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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