you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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