New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
This gyro tastes like lonliness
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i think my cat just said my name.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
