I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
