i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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