i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
