Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
