no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
