Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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