Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
