How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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