You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
