My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Randomize
