I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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