All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Blood and glitter go together right?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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