We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
