I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
