I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
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