Already got asked if we're dating
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize
