i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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