he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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