Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
