Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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