Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
