Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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