Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
