I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
