I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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