So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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