if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
