that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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