Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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