i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
