Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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