ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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