the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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