4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
