just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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