the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
