can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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